Madina Abdullaeva is a fourth-year Uzbekistani student in university X in country Y. She is pursuing her degree in Engineering. In mid-October she learns about a university competition and decides to take part in it.
“Do you have any ideas?” her friend of Y nationality asks her.
“Yes! A robot that detects racist attitude in people. It warns about it,” Madina replies with a strong Uzbek accent, “It regularly scans humans’ brains… It’s trained to recognize racism…hmmm… what type of brain activity correlates it!” her eyes are shining.
“Sounds cool!”
The countdown towards the competition begins. On the first day Madina shuts up in the apartment that she rents. She starts research that lasts all day and all evening. Her friends send her a message calling out for dinner. Madina does not reply. She is focused on the work and her phone is on Do Not Disturb mode. Her friends shrug and go to the café without Madina.
While they are enjoying sushi and milkshakes and sharing lighthearted laughs, Madina’s fingers are moving non-stop across the keyboard. Her eyes are attentively scanning the screen. In the same way eyes of a dog who is waiting for its owner are scanning people who exist a shop. When the owner appears, the dog’s eyes flash with happiness. Similarly, Madina’s eyes widen with joy when she comes across a good idea.
On the second day Madina can only talk about her findings. When she joins her friends of Y nationality at lunch, she speaks for half of an hour about medial frontal gyrus, right putamen, medial insula and the complexity of their interactions that produce unobjective hatred between people. She also delves into the realm of machine learning and outlines how a robot will be taught to identify hatred caused by racial stereotypes.
At first, Madina’s friends are attentively looking at the girl who is sitting in front of the plate with steaming rice and who is gesturing in an agitated manner. Gradually as they finish their meals, they start to wonder if anyone else will have opportunity to speak and share their news. As last drops of hope evaporate, guys and girls start leaving the table one by one. In the end, Madina is left alone with the riсe that cooled down on the plastic plate and the speech that is still carrying on in her mind.
Over the course of the next days, Madina can be seen in a café, or in the library, or in an empty classroom. While her locations around university change, her clothes – a sky blue sweater, black jeans and colorful snickers – remain unaltered. She invariably buries herself among piles of papers with designs and notes. Madina skips meals to save time and her eyes are shining with passion.
“You’re going crazy!” her friend of Y nationality tells her, “Just relax!”
No one among Abdullaeva’s opponents puts so much effort into their work. Jim Brown of Y nationality brags that he will spend just one hour on the presentation. He is a tall muscular guy who goes to the gym regularly. He is remarkable for having biceps that are larger than his head. “Improvisation is the key! I’m greater than the scum that surrounds me!” he proclaims among the circle of his close friends. When just one week until the day of competition is left, Jim Brown is still seen lifting weights in the gym in the afternoons and drinking beer with his friends in the evenings.
***
It takes Madina 10 hours to put together her presentation.
“Could you, please, review my speech and correct grammar mistakes?” Madina asks one of her friends of Y nationality.
“Yeah, go ahead,” the friend replies lazily and does not look up from the screen of the MacBook with charts for Mathematics class.
Madina and her friend are in the library. When Madina starts her presentation in a low quiet voice, people around look at her with comprehension. One girl packs her things in an annoyed manner and changes the seat.
“Yeah, it’s Okay,” Madina’s friend comments in the end of the talk with indifference and continues compiling graphs.
Madina’s blissful heart jumps from her chest into her throat. Her grammar is approved by a native speaker! Wow!
“Thank you so much!” Madina exclaims, peering into her friends’ emotionless face with her faithful eyes as brown as a beagle’s.
“Shhhh! Please, be quiet!” someone nearby hisses with irritation.
***
On the next day Madina’s heart is bouncing while she is waiting for the meeting with her supervisor. The professor is still busy reviewing the presentation of another student. 5 minutes pass… 10 minutes pass… Madina starts to look at her watches more often. She even opens Google Calendar and checks the time of her appointment. Everything is right. Eventually, half of an hour late, the student walks out of the classroom. It is Jim Brown. His chin is high up and he is grinning triumphantly.
“He has just made the whole presentation for me!” Jim whispers into Madina’s ear and winks at her.
Madina’s stomach shrinks, her nose crinkles, and she frowns. That’s unfair! Her mind is screaming inside her head. However, she suppresses this exclamation and lets Jim pass by. As Madina enters the room of the supervisor, the following thoughts are flashing in her head: I’d love him to give extensive critique, but no intervention. I’ll do everything myself!
After Abdullaeva finishes her presentation, the professor just nods and says: “It’s Okay, Madina. Good job. Good luck!”
Madina leaves the office with her head lowered. Her lips are drooping and shaking. There is a tight knot in her throat. She stares at the world with her big tear-soaked eyes, while her stomach is shrinking more and more. Then everything inside her succumbs to this process of shrinking until she becomes as tiny and helpless as an ant.
***
On the last day before the competition Madina is resting in the armchair for the first time in three weeks. She is reading her favorite book and listening to the melancholic melody of rain outside. Suddenly she hears a noise. Her heart falls into her feet. Someone is walking from the kitchen towards her room. Oh, my God! Madina is shaking and hopelessly reaches for her phone but cannot grab it because there is no power in her trembling cold fingers.
“Who is here?” she screams.
No response… The steps cease for a moment… Boom, boom, boom – Madina’s heart is ready to burst in her chest.
Then the steps resume, and she cries out when she sees a skeleton. It is covered in spiders that are weaving webs in its eye sockets and around its bones. It is holding a dead peacock in curved phalanges of its right hand. The peacock has died recently for the colours of its tail are fading away in a rapid succession. The left arm is squeezing a black bag that is filled with some round objects the size of human head. Voices remarkable for their purely Y country’s English accents are heard from inside the bag: “Hey, Madina. What’s up?”, “We’re making Y great again!” Suddenly the skeleton drops both the peacock and the bag, bends its knees, makes a salto and turns into a wolf. The wolf howls and charges Madina to rip her chest apart.
“Oh, my God!” Madina screams and awakens from the nightmare covered in cold sweat and breathless.
***
It is Madina’s time to present. She walks on the stage and faces twelve judges – professors of X university. One of them has been to almost every country in the world. Another has volunteered for Human Rights Watch organization. The third speaks with the accent of Italian community in country Y. The fourth is involved into providing help to refugees. The fifth objects against the Trump wall. The sixth has an intercultural marriage. The seventh wears a kippah. The eighth gave a talk in Silicon Valley. The ninth contributes to the research on the Universal Basic Income. The tenth is an animal rights activist. The eleventh is dedicated to the problem of climate change. The twelfth is unremarkable.
Abdullaeva has about three minutes to prepare. She is feeling butterflies in her stomach. Madina connects her laptop to projector, opens her presentation, occasionally glances at the audience and gasps… The twelfth professor has transformed into a skeleton from her nightmare. It is walking among the rows, cutting off the heads of other professors. Every head that falls on the table is collected and replaced with the head from the black bag. The neck and the new head attach perfectly. All the heads look identical. No one notices the crime of head stealing. Madina starts flickering and itching her eyes to get rid of the illusion. However, it does not go away, even after the head of the last victim is stolen.
Then Madina is asked by the moderator to start her presentation. Throughout her whole speech she is staring at the impudent skeleton that is sitting beside the eleventh victim. The skeleton is smiling encouragingly. When Madina finishes, the black bag with stolen heads explodes with screams: “Bravo! The idea is great! Madina Abdullaeva deserves the first place!” Madina bows and can not suppress a happy smile. As she leaves the stage, the skeleton vanishes in the thin air and the ovation fades away.
After an hour, Madina and other participants of the competition are informed that the prize was given to Jim Brown who forgot the words in the middle of his talk. Jim jumps up from his chair, claps his hands, and shows victory signs with his hands.
Madina runs out from the hall and locks herself in the bathroom. She bursts into tears and weeps uncontrollably. She falls to her knees, her head is squeezed between her arms, her shoulders are jumping up and down. After an hour of shedding tears, she stands up and looks in the mirror at her red puffy eyes. She turns on the tap and starts washing her hot face with cool water. Then she starts staring at the vortex created by water flowing down the sink. This endless process of disappearance echoes her despair. Almost a quarter of an hour passes before she rises her eyes. The mirror reflects the skeleton behind her. It is smiling triumphantly.